


Iron Moon

by Necronaut666



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Dark Romance, Developing Relationship, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Backstory, Redemption, Reylo - Freeform, Shipwreck, Slow Build, i'm going to hell and i like it, not incest until it's proven, redemption arc, rey is sassy, trash for the trash god
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5686951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Necronaut666/pseuds/Necronaut666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The key of joy is disobedience.</p>
<p>Kylo Ren receives an execution order on Rey, who just completed her training under Luke Skywalker.  He doesn’t agree with his decision, plotting to enslave Rey, pull her to the Dark Side and present to his Master.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Temporary Peace

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this is my first Star Wars fic. I am gradually sucked into this ship and I regret nothing. English is not my native language so mistakes may happen.  
> Many thanks for Mike for being my critic and editor. Also, illustrations are mine too :)
> 
> Aaaand... If you click the header, you will get an accompanying playlist <3

[ ](https://open.spotify.com/user/11127895601/playlist/004EClHYzG9MuoxKI6b47Q)

 

I need to be alone for a while.

It’s not as cold as on Hoth, but the frost is unrelenting and the air is humid. The forest drowns in dense mist. I walk through it, ice-adorned leaves crunch beneath feet.  My hair and coat are constantly caught in the leafless twigs.  The conditions aren’t exactly perfect for a walk, but the roaring inside me is keeping me awake, driving me away from relative warmth of the spacecraft. I can hear the sea roaring and taste the salty mist as I am getting closer to the shores. The dull light shining between the trees tells me that the way is right, as I stride through the forest unmarked by paths and untouched by civilization.  
  
Rey told me the repairs would last two to three days and then we would be able to at least move the ship and search for any settlements.  If only any living souls were hiding in the signal-smothering magnetic  field.  Luckily I cannot do much about the repairs, so it enabled me to hide between the branches and quietly wonder if I am to regret anything.

Of course I am.

I knew that when the execution order came. I was, and still I am, unable to obey. I am the one who took life of his own father. My blade was ever hungry of blood. But I cannot quench its thirst with hers.  
  
If I only knew how badly it would end. The fight, the crash, the asteroid belt out of nowhere – it all came together. I had a brilliant plan to seduce her, lead her to the Dark Side and bring her back to Snoke, showing him that I could achieve something more, surprise him.  Now I can’t go back to either side.

I’m very bad at obeying orders.

My feet drown in soft sand as I’m wandering past the dune. The sea is unlike any I have ever seen, but not in a good way. It is murky and grey, almost undistinguishable from the pale sky.  The waves rage with the gusts of wind, which coldly get through all the little creases straight under my coat. As I approach them, I come across a small pond on a flat, salty beach – remnant of a storm, along with scattered driftwood, feathers of birds unknown and nameless bones.  I watch my reflection, hair wild with the wind, robes now ragged and dark fluttering around me.  It awakens a memory.  


_When I was 15, I had to go with my mother to the Senate. As I followed her, elegant and royal as always, I heard a whisper from one of the ladies behind me. They gossiped about me, how graceless I was, how unlike my mother and father. They wondered if I am truly their child._

_This was the first time I felt like I was truly misplaced. Not the same breed as the rest of my family. I was always too awkward, too tall, with a long face and broad shoulders.  Devoid of grace or subtlety_.

Now when I look at my reflection and compare myself to Rey, I feel this is who we are – a carrion crow and a lark. My plan, carefully woven in the dark depths of space, looks ridiculous in the brightness of the day. The sun deceives all its flaws and misconceptions.

I sit on the sand, not knowing what to make out of this situation, and wrap myself in the folds of my coat. It feels safe and I realize the concept of safety became so unfamiliar through the years.  For the first time in forever, I do not know what to do. Cannot go back to the Order unpunished, cannot return to the people who made me rebel on the first place. My bitter spirit has finally become a burden I cannot hide from behind a mask.


	2. The world we left behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is finally edited! Enjoy :)

At least the maintenance shaft is warm. Almost.

I’m crammed in a small space, bent in half, trying to rewire the energy systems of this imperial wreck and get enough power to search for a repair station. Any interstellar travel is out of question at this moment.   
The shuttle parts are scattered throughout the forest and the outer shells are covered with a web of cracks. The hull can lose its pressure at any moment during flight, damage to the left engine causes power shortages and a lot of maintenance fluids just leaked into the open space. The first thing I did was shut down any tracking and communication systems after I got sure they really have no signal. Even if they weren’t useless, I don’t want to risk having half of First Order’s forces on our tails.   
Kylo has little to no experience with engineering, so it gave him a chance to gracefully evade me under the guise of exploring the terrain. I think he feels intimidated without the mask. It makes everything harder for him. Of course, I could use any help, but I’m not exactly sure if he can provide it – besides, he makes me a little uneasy. Still, I can feel his presence in a nearby forest. Our bond acts like a line with a hook on the end. Even if you do not see it, drowned deep in murky waters, you are sure it is there, at the end of the rope. If it was anybody else, this could be of assurance. But not when I’m stuck here with him.  
I still cannot forget about what I saw. Cannot erase the moment he pierced his own father’s heart. And yet, despite all the anger and scorn I feel towards him, I cannot ignore the bond between us. It seems primal and wild, and even if I had discovered it just lately soon it nestled into something universally natural.   
Thoughts start to crowd my head and the cables get mixed up . Control lights dim . Well, great. I think it’s time for a break. I get out of the vent, wrap myself in one of emergency blankets found in the storage and go outside. 

Treha, whereon we have shipwrecked, definitely has a certain charm. Now, when dusk is descending, northern lights adorn the sky with a green curtain . Three moons serenely move across the skyline, through asteroids and debris hanging in the air, pulled and trapped in the atmosphere. I’m still unused to the cold and the fact that clouds come out of my mouth as I speak. 

I take a walk around the ship to warm up. We left a huge trench in the ground as we crashed. A lot of parts are still scattered around the site – pieces of metal from the wings, bolts, screws and scraps are probably strewn in a huge radius, some of them too big for me to pick up even by means of the Force. A garland of icicles hangs from the side of the ship. I would consider it immensely pretty if it had not consisted out of maintenance fluids that leaked after the crash. The hull breach near the back is big and seems to have started caving itself in as soon as Ren stopped holding it down. Had it collapsed earlier, during the landing, it would have surely killed us . I shudder to think that in some twist of fate I own my life to the man so dangerous and unpredictable. 

I think I should finally enlist him to do some work with the repairs. I turn on my heel and go in search of him, hoping he isn’t wreaking havoc on innocent wildlife right now.

Kylo is very loud. His turbulent mind fills the forest. Rage, sadness, fear, uncertainty sweep me like the waves on an ocean. I have no problem finding him, alone on the empty beach. He meditates, eyes closed, sitting on the sand. He doesn’t seem to notice me and I admit, I can finally find a dose of grace in him. His face seems serene and calm, glowing faintly with the dusk but I feel the powerful undercurrent flowing from him. I notice that he digs his fingers in his side, the place a bowcaster arrow hit him.  
It would be inherently dangerous and unwise to disturb him. I wander aimlessly for a minute, tossing stones into the deep dark sea, but soon grow restless. So I sit nearby and soon drown in my own meditation, letting the Force sweep me away.


	3. Nighttime Birds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the next chapter is done. Writing action scenes is realy difficult to me, but I've decided to try my hand at this. Chapter IV is already done but needs editing, chapter five is in writing. :)A big, heartfelt thank you to all the people who commented, bookmarked and liked this little piece of writing: I love you all and I am so grateful! <3

The Stream of the Force runs through me, amplified by my pain, my anger, my loneliness. I recall everything in vivid details. I have a carefully detailed catalogue of memories, which I shelter like bullets and use in times like these. A memory of misplacement. My father departing again bid farewell by my mother’s bitter silence. My training under Luke Skywalker. Loneliness. Pain. Rage.

Red flashes before my eyes like a torrent. I recognize the familiar feeling of amplification, or even elation. The Dark Side drones and rumbles around me like a distant cyclone and I am in the eye of it.   
I have always found it more suitable to my abilities, as I was unable to completely clear my mind. They forced me to try many approaches - focusing on a candle’s flame, humming, staring at the sun, counting backwards, breath control, sensory deprivation - all for naught. The constant flow never stopped.  
  
Too much is happening under my skin to just let it wash away. I’m done with forcing myself to do things I’m unsuited for. Now, I am a furnace of passion, everlasting and burning with a nuclear force .

Suddenly I feel a familiar presence beside me, and, among my own emotions, entirely new ones begin to flash.

I saw old  incidents in  a different light. The rage is focused on me. I see flashbacks from Starkiller Base interwoven with the initial moments on this forsaken planet. It’s surprising and unsettling to see those events through  an entirely different set of eyes. To my surprise, I can draw from them – the visions just make me feel stronger. 

I know who the memories belong to.

I saw lonely days and empty nights on Jakku before. Waiting, seemingly  to no end. I heard questions “Why? Where are you?” and tasted broken hopes each sunset . And it's all so familiar, so close to a prolonged solitude in my room on Coruscant, so similar to the darkness in padawan's quarters and the crippling fear that haunted me there.

I gently untangle from the state I’m in, slowly but surely coming back to full awareness. The night has spread its wings fully upon the land, cut by three moons wandering through the sky. Their cold light faintly reflects itself in the pitch black waves. Sometimes I see silhouettes of strange, feathered creatures. They seem to be diving in deadly cold water s .   
  
The reason of my revelation is clear. Rey is sitting nearby,  likewise meditating. I’m surprised she trusted me enough to practice in my presence. Not wanting to leave her alone in the unknown land, I decide to stay for a while and observe her. The Force burning up my veins keeps me warm in the frost.

I sit on  the  sand once again and take  my time watching her. Since she joined the scene, I cannot banish her from my mind  . Completely aware that she may be the downfall of me, I also think this girl might be the key to my higher power. Nevertheless, she draws me like a magnet , slowly pulling my iron heart.  There is a lot at stake here, but I've made up my mind – I ought to gain her trust, no matter the cost, as this would surely  recoup me in many ways.

When Rey finishes her meditation, she seems unsettled by my presence.  
  
“Why are you looking at me that way?” she asks, gazing at me watchfully.

“I’ve thought it would be better for us to come back to the ship together. “

She raises her eyebrow.

“I didn’t expect such a courtesy from you. What made you think that I couldn't stand up for myself?”

“There are things in this world even you wouldn’t be able to cope with. Trust me”

“You are the last person in this galaxy I would put my trust in” she scoffs and gets up to leave. I follow her into the darkness. I instinctively light up my lightsaber and go first. The red flickering flame brightens the way. The forest is pitch black and seems to smother any light coming from the sky. The world has fallen suspiciously silent and I don’t like it. Something hangs in the air. Rey seems unsettled seeing my alert state but she tries to play it cool, not looking directy at me. 

There's something coming. I stop  Rey with a gesture, all tense and ready to attack. The sound of breaking branches and  the ground  pounding becomes more audible. 

Suddenly, an animal surges out of the woods. It’s an enormous canine, almost the size of a bantha. Bloodthirsty eyes blink ominously from under matted fur. They seem to ignite in the red light of the lightsaber. It reeks of rotting meat and gore, ready to pounce on us. Almost instinctively I bind it with the Force – itresists me, thrashing in an invisible snare, but the energy in my blood sings. I have never felt so powerful before. I raise my hand and feel how the creature’s throat constricts. The sight of its pain and rage brings aesthetic pleasure as I decide to end its life with a swift choke. The animal falls to the ground like a pile of rags, and its final high pitched howl scares the birds from the tree crowns.   
  
“Let’s go” I turn to Rey “there might me more of them. The pilot’s carcass must have lured them close”

She follows me, almost running.

“Why did you do that? “ Her voice rises, trembling. I stop, surprised at her reaction.

“Do what? I’m defending us.”

“You could use a mind trick, tell it to go. You cannot just kill everything on our way! “

I turn to her.

“You wanted me to spare a wolf of some sort on a dangerous planet? Aren’t you overreacting a bit? What if its pack…” An angry howl interrupts me mid-sentence. And then another. And another.  


“Run!” I shout, taking her by the hand. She tries to pry it away, but to no avail. I pull her through the forest towards the ship. I bear my lightsaber like a torch, bringing the flickering flame into the wilderness as the howls get closer and closer, and the beat of giant paws thunders behind. Like a first man bearing fire into the primal darkness.

“I can see them!” Rey shouts and now we run hand in hand, skipping over logs and pits. The wolves are faster and now they prowl beside us, singing the song of the hunt. I try to push them away and scare them with my lightsaber but the creatures are fierce like I’ve never seen before – muscular and bulky, a disgusting brood of hunger and ice.

Rey also takes out her saber and swings it, hurting one of the beasts. The pack keeps their distance but doesn’t leave us. When we finally reach the ship there is at least a dozen of them. It’s too much even for skilled warriors like us. I cover Rey as she opens the entrance. It takes painfully long to open all the air locks and I twirl my lightsaber to scare the wolves away, managing to choke one of them. One backs off with singed flesh, baring its fangs in the red and blue light, but the others get closer and closer. They look similar to korrinas on Endor, but more vicious, crossbred with the darkest spawn. The darkness around grows heavier, as If the moonlight was suddenly silenced.

Finally all the locks open and Rey pulls me into the ship with one swift move, simultaneously using the internal switch to shut the door quickly. It falls down so fast it clasps on my cloak. I have to rip a part of it.

 

We stand in the airlock, breathing heavily, flushed with adrenaline, and leaning on walls from exhaustion. But as soon as our pulse calms down we start doing what we are best at – shouting at each other.

“If you hadn't killed the first one, the pack wouldn’t have attacked us!” She shouts, her eyes sparkling with rage. “They know you’ve slaughtered one of their kind!”

“Nonsense. They are just hungry, and we are easy prey. Look how bloodthirsty they are, they weren’t even afraid of a lightsaber! Do you think they would back off? We would have managed to reach the ship before them if it weren’t for you chastising me about mercy in the middle of the forest” I point towards the door, taking a step towards her. She is backing against the wall, hand on her weapon again.

“So the great Kylo Ren, the infamous Jedi Killer, was afraid of a pack of forest animals? You are not as powerful as they say, aren’t you? Or maybe… maybe that’s Ben Solo who is afraid?”

That is one step too far. Red flashes before my eyes as I pin her to the wall to the hellish howls of the hounds. The lightsaber flies right off her hand.

“There is a difference between fear and stupidity. Not picking up a fight against animals that ferocious, on an unknown planet, while being hungry, cold and weakened because you count on them lying at your feet smitten with the Force? That’s stupidity. Not virtue. “I almost whisper the last words into her ear and feel how she trembles with rage, speechless after what happened. I back off and let her pick up the lightsaber, seemingly cooling off after the outburst.

“I respected your demand and stopped wearing my helmet in your presence. Do refrain from using my old name” I say as calm as I can while entering the ship, not looking at her. She doesn’t answer.

We sleep in  the pilot’s cabin. We need to keep the power low and it is the only remotely warm place on the entire unit. Unlike the ship Rey is accustomed to, my shuttle doesn’t have any living quarters, just a ramp for military units and  a  med bay. I’ve managed to do a makeshift bed out of weapon crates covered with blankets and tarps. I’m obviously too tall to sleep on it comfortably but it’s something. Rey chose to sleep on the pilot’s seat. I wonder how she is able to curl in it like that. As I take of my shoes in silence and try to lie myself to sleep, fidgeting on the hard chests, she covers herself with the blanket in her place. The silence is almost deafening and it reminds me of how my mother acted when she was mad at me – she didn’t say a word and pretended to be asleep behind a door for as long as it took me to apologize to her. Usually, I didn’t, so I grew accustomed to the silence and locked doors. She insisted on acting like it even if her fussing had no effect on me or… anyone else.   
  
Rey is less ostentatious, but her rage and abject is clearly visible. I lie in the darkness, trying to approach this like I did with my mother – ignoring  her. But the rage in my blood starts to cool, clarity returns like a wave. I feel gradually unsettled, trying to focus on the ship’s celling, watching blinking green lights on  the  panels and longing for sleep. But I cannot. It comes to me that if I really want to have access to her power and use our bond fully, I cannot antagonize her. 

“Rey?” I ask, my voice weirdly raspy. She doesn’t answer, but I see her moving under the blanket.

“Rey, I’m sorry ~~I~~ attacked you. That was a mistake.”

Prolonged silence is the only answer. I don’t know why my heart started beating faster.

“I’m sorry too. You were right about the wolves” I see her rising from the chair. She is but a silhouette and snow whirls behind her, visible through the window. Despite darkness I know she is staring at me intently and for the first time I’m unable to meet her invisible gaze.

“I guess adrenaline took the best of us „ I nod towards her. I put a blanket on my head and curl under it, inwards, as if I wanted to hide inside myself.

“Would you help me with the ship tomorrow?” I hear her asking a question.

“Yes” is my last answer before I fall into a jittery, restless sleep.

 

 

 


End file.
